My Top 10 "Said No Mom Evers"
10. I find it useful for an entire day to pass with no clear tasks ever having been accomplished.
9. I really enjoy hearing 2 kids cry simultaneously.
8. That trip to the ER wasn't stressful at all!
7. I prefer my sleep schedule post-kids.
6. I enjoy my house becoming instantaneously dirty after I spend half a day cleaning it.
5. Never being truly finished with laundry inspires me.
4. My child misbehaving at a play date (or anywhere really) makes me feel like mom of the year.
3. I love it when my children's actions prohibit me from showering or brushing my teeth until 5pm.
2. I totally hate when my toddler says "I wud you mommy"
1. My life was so much better before having my two crazy angelic children.
SAID NO MOM EVER!
Monday, June 3, 2013
Friday, May 17, 2013
Confessions of a Half-Crazy Mama
Confession #1
I eat in the corner like a criminal so I don't have to share my food with Rhee.
I mean, the kid is like a human garbage disposal and will eat anything! As long as I am eating it of course. He will eat Larabars (he calls these chocolate, who am I to tell him differently?), lima beans and coffee, yes, even coffee.
Of the iced variety. I've been able to keep him away from regular coffee by telling him it's hot. He hates hot things. To the point of spitting out lukewarm food declaring it 'HOT!'
However, anything with a straw is fair game and he wants it.
Hence my criminal activity in the kitchen.
Confession #2:
I sometimes put my kids to bed so I can relax. (Read: watch TV)
Hangs head.....
Enough said.
Confession #3
I sometimes gag when changing my 2 year old's dirty diaper. Really? You don't want to potty-train? You want to sit in that filth? Be my guest little friend.
Confession #4
I am able to withstand a lot more than I ever thought possible.
Like have my abdomen sliced open (by some very competent doctors) twice to have these two angels. Like eating half-masticated food when my toddler decides he no longer 'wants' it. Like giving up dairy for Nick who has a lactose intolerance. And like not sleeping more than 3 hours in a row nights on end.
They are SO worth it.
Confession #5
I can't tell you what I do all day as a SAHM but I know I'm never still all day and sleep really hard at night. Between those Nick feedings of course. Sometimes I sleep through those feedings....(should that be a confession too???)
Confession #6
I really want to fulfill Rhee's dreams of being outside all day (or even just an hour) but I just don't have the energy for it. This kid can disappear in 2 seconds flat and although we live on a cul-de-sac, there is a very busy road near us and my mommy nightmare scenario brain doesn't allow me to relax outside with him.
With good reason, one time I couldn't find him while loading up the car and after frantically running around the perimeter of my yard twice, screaming his name like a maniac, I found him in the front seat of our van, grinning from ear to ear. Being a mother of boys should have it's own manual.
Confession #7
I find grocery shopping with 2 small children is on par with having all 10 of your fingernails slowly removed. I have grey hair and I'm pretty sure this is one the top 5 causes of it.
Confession #8
I am secretly delighted that these two monkeys give me such great material for blogging. I have found I really enjoy writing. Just don't be too interesting....let's keep this PG boys.
Confession #9
I have totally made tons of mistakes already with both boys. And that is okay. There is grace for me, for them and the good news is, it never runs out.
Confession #10
I love these two squirts more then I ever thought possible! They make my day better and worse all at once. :) They make our lives harder and easier at the same time. With each of their births I feel our family more complete. So thankful for my little monkeys. <3
These are my top confessions TODAY. I have had and will have so many more. Now, I would love to know what your mama confessions are.....please share so we can all laugh and agree!!! :)
I eat in the corner like a criminal so I don't have to share my food with Rhee.
I mean, the kid is like a human garbage disposal and will eat anything! As long as I am eating it of course. He will eat Larabars (he calls these chocolate, who am I to tell him differently?), lima beans and coffee, yes, even coffee.
Of the iced variety. I've been able to keep him away from regular coffee by telling him it's hot. He hates hot things. To the point of spitting out lukewarm food declaring it 'HOT!'
However, anything with a straw is fair game and he wants it.
Hence my criminal activity in the kitchen.
Confession #2:
I sometimes put my kids to bed so I can relax. (Read: watch TV)
Hangs head.....
Enough said.
Confession #3
I sometimes gag when changing my 2 year old's dirty diaper. Really? You don't want to potty-train? You want to sit in that filth? Be my guest little friend.
Confession #4
I am able to withstand a lot more than I ever thought possible.
Like have my abdomen sliced open (by some very competent doctors) twice to have these two angels. Like eating half-masticated food when my toddler decides he no longer 'wants' it. Like giving up dairy for Nick who has a lactose intolerance. And like not sleeping more than 3 hours in a row nights on end.
They are SO worth it.
Confession #5
I can't tell you what I do all day as a SAHM but I know I'm never still all day and sleep really hard at night. Between those Nick feedings of course. Sometimes I sleep through those feedings....(should that be a confession too???)
Confession #6
I really want to fulfill Rhee's dreams of being outside all day (or even just an hour) but I just don't have the energy for it. This kid can disappear in 2 seconds flat and although we live on a cul-de-sac, there is a very busy road near us and my mommy nightmare scenario brain doesn't allow me to relax outside with him.
With good reason, one time I couldn't find him while loading up the car and after frantically running around the perimeter of my yard twice, screaming his name like a maniac, I found him in the front seat of our van, grinning from ear to ear. Being a mother of boys should have it's own manual.
Confession #7
I find grocery shopping with 2 small children is on par with having all 10 of your fingernails slowly removed. I have grey hair and I'm pretty sure this is one the top 5 causes of it.
Confession #8
I am secretly delighted that these two monkeys give me such great material for blogging. I have found I really enjoy writing. Just don't be too interesting....let's keep this PG boys.
Confession #9
I have totally made tons of mistakes already with both boys. And that is okay. There is grace for me, for them and the good news is, it never runs out.
Confession #10
I love these two squirts more then I ever thought possible! They make my day better and worse all at once. :) They make our lives harder and easier at the same time. With each of their births I feel our family more complete. So thankful for my little monkeys. <3
These are my top confessions TODAY. I have had and will have so many more. Now, I would love to know what your mama confessions are.....please share so we can all laugh and agree!!! :)
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Defeated
In case you couldn't tell, I'm a perfectionist. It's a plague on my house.
Perfectionism is, at its root, a pride issue.
To look at myself and pridefully declare that I am not good enough. This is after God has told me that I am redeemed through Christ and He sees me as covered by Christ's sacrifice on the cross. No amount of striving for perfectionism is going to make me any better than He already sees me.
Mother's Day Sunday at church was quite a revelation to me. Pastor Daniel was talking about striving. One Scripture stood out to me:
2 Peter 1:3 His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness. (emphasis mine)
I don't have to rely on myself. I don't have to be perfect to be worthy in His eyes. So who exactly am I living for then? Others?
Just read a bit by Sarah Young in Jesus Calling stating that when we live for the approval of others, we place ourselves in bondage to them.
When I live in a place of striving for perfection and approval of others in my daily life, I set myself up for defeat. And to be truthful, I let defeat be more a part of my daily life than abundance than I would care to admit.
I want to live beyond the defeat perfectionism (striving) places in my life. What a trick the enemy plays on me. To whisper lies in my ear that I have to earn what is already mine.
So today I refuse to listen. I will instead listen to the One who loves me enough to give everything for me. A sinful and imperfect me. So that I don't have to strive, I have only to listen to His voice and hear what He has for my day and for my life.
To be free indeed. To live beyond the defeat of perfectionism.
Perfectionism is, at its root, a pride issue.
To look at myself and pridefully declare that I am not good enough. This is after God has told me that I am redeemed through Christ and He sees me as covered by Christ's sacrifice on the cross. No amount of striving for perfectionism is going to make me any better than He already sees me.
Mother's Day Sunday at church was quite a revelation to me. Pastor Daniel was talking about striving. One Scripture stood out to me:
2 Peter 1:3 His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness. (emphasis mine)
I don't have to rely on myself. I don't have to be perfect to be worthy in His eyes. So who exactly am I living for then? Others?
Just read a bit by Sarah Young in Jesus Calling stating that when we live for the approval of others, we place ourselves in bondage to them.
When I live in a place of striving for perfection and approval of others in my daily life, I set myself up for defeat. And to be truthful, I let defeat be more a part of my daily life than abundance than I would care to admit.
I want to live beyond the defeat perfectionism (striving) places in my life. What a trick the enemy plays on me. To whisper lies in my ear that I have to earn what is already mine.
So today I refuse to listen. I will instead listen to the One who loves me enough to give everything for me. A sinful and imperfect me. So that I don't have to strive, I have only to listen to His voice and hear what He has for my day and for my life.
To be free indeed. To live beyond the defeat of perfectionism.
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Ugly Beautiful
Have you ever been in a season of life that just makes you tired; physically, emotionally, even spiritually? Okay, let's be real, this is life and we all have!
Our family is in a spot like this now. It's all 'high class problems' but draining just the same. I have always wanted to be a SAHM and when God put us in a position for us to be able to realize this dream last year, I was overjoyed. So overjoyed that we had another kid! :)
With all the quality time with your children, playdates, ability to have undivided (not split with work like I was before) attention for my kids and countless other blessings, there are other sacrifices. Because Jay's job is our only source of income, he has the added pressure of working really hard for our family. And I love him for it.
What it also means, with his job in particular, he often has to work really long hours. And when his staff changes as it has in the past few weeks, it means he is away from us working 60+ hours a week. Sometimes he can barely get in an hour with the boys before they are down to bed at nighttime. Or he has to work on our scheduled vacation or on weekends when we hadn't planned it.
I used to get mad. Even yelled and argued over work schedules (oh, juicy gossip, Leta yells at her hubs. As Pastor Daniel says, don't be so spiritual, you know you've done it too.)
Please hear me, I know we are super blessed to be in a position where I can be at home! I am so thankful! What I was unprepared for were the feelings I was having when faced with having 12 hr+ days sometimes 6 days a week with 2 kids under 2. I found myself having a hard time.
So when Jay finally had a Saturday off after a long time, I was grateful for the time. Until he stopped by his office and saw that people had not showed up to work. Rather than put the strain on his staff, he decided to go in for the rest of the hours to help them.
I ain't gonna lie, my immediate internal response was anger. Anger that his job responsibilities were calling him away from our family time again. Anger that it FEELS like his job is more important to him than us (which is exactly the opposite, I know he does it all for us).
But you know what? I am tired of being angry. With two small children, I just don't have the energy for it. So that day, I chose thankfulness. I chose the 'ugly beautiful'. Earlier this year, I read the book One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp and she poetically talks about living in a state of gratitude. A state so specific that she was thanking God for things like soap bubbles and clean floors. She started by trying to list 1000 things she was thankful for, EVERYTHING. Any small (or big) thing she could be thankful for, she wrote it down. Then she began to see how God was in everything around her, even the chaos and the things that seemed horrible. And she was able to be thankful for them. Hence their name, 'ugly beautiful', because sometimes being thankful is hard. It requires being thankful for something that is ugly because it is in God's plan for your life. And since we know that He only has good plans for us (Jer. 29:11) and He works everything for our good (Rom. 8:28), we should live in a constant state of thankfulness regardless of our circumstances.
Whew, talk about easier said than done! I was skeptical.
But I started a list. I am currently on #143. And once I reach 1000, I hope to keep going because as she wrote in her book, it changed her state of mind and state of being. She was happier, even in the difficult times. And who doesn't want that?
Mine own first 'ugly beautiful' moment happened when Jay had to go to work that Saturday. I wanted to cry, I wanted to be angry.
Instead, I took a big breath and started making a tally:
"I am thankful Jay has a job that supplies for our family "
"I am thankful that because of that, we are able to be generous to others in need"
"I am thankful for the chance to be at home with my boys"
"I am thankful for our home"
And the list went on. It was slow because my ugly was strong and the ugly situation was hard for me. But I slowly started to feel better. Because something about gratitude draws God closer to you. And it makes sense. When my children thank me, it fills my heart and overflows. Could it be the same with God? And as God draws closer to you, the enemy and all his tricks flee.
And you are left with a thankful heart.
I'm not saying it is easy, because it isn't. And I have a feeling that because of this 'ugly beautiful' moment and it's positive results, I will graduate to the next level and my next 'ugly beautiful' will be harder. Because that is how God works, he never leaves us in our state of disarray. He will keep chipping away at my character until He makes it what He wants it to be.
If this is true, then I want to live in this state of gratitude. It is a superior companion than the alternative. I'll probably fail a bunch but that is okay too. My circumstances haven't changed, Jay has still been working really long hours and life is crazy but there are just too many things for me to be thankful for to dwell in the self-pity. Choosing joy instead.
Our family is in a spot like this now. It's all 'high class problems' but draining just the same. I have always wanted to be a SAHM and when God put us in a position for us to be able to realize this dream last year, I was overjoyed. So overjoyed that we had another kid! :)
With all the quality time with your children, playdates, ability to have undivided (not split with work like I was before) attention for my kids and countless other blessings, there are other sacrifices. Because Jay's job is our only source of income, he has the added pressure of working really hard for our family. And I love him for it.
What it also means, with his job in particular, he often has to work really long hours. And when his staff changes as it has in the past few weeks, it means he is away from us working 60+ hours a week. Sometimes he can barely get in an hour with the boys before they are down to bed at nighttime. Or he has to work on our scheduled vacation or on weekends when we hadn't planned it.
I used to get mad. Even yelled and argued over work schedules (oh, juicy gossip, Leta yells at her hubs. As Pastor Daniel says, don't be so spiritual, you know you've done it too.)
Please hear me, I know we are super blessed to be in a position where I can be at home! I am so thankful! What I was unprepared for were the feelings I was having when faced with having 12 hr+ days sometimes 6 days a week with 2 kids under 2. I found myself having a hard time.
So when Jay finally had a Saturday off after a long time, I was grateful for the time. Until he stopped by his office and saw that people had not showed up to work. Rather than put the strain on his staff, he decided to go in for the rest of the hours to help them.
I ain't gonna lie, my immediate internal response was anger. Anger that his job responsibilities were calling him away from our family time again. Anger that it FEELS like his job is more important to him than us (which is exactly the opposite, I know he does it all for us).
But you know what? I am tired of being angry. With two small children, I just don't have the energy for it. So that day, I chose thankfulness. I chose the 'ugly beautiful'. Earlier this year, I read the book One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp and she poetically talks about living in a state of gratitude. A state so specific that she was thanking God for things like soap bubbles and clean floors. She started by trying to list 1000 things she was thankful for, EVERYTHING. Any small (or big) thing she could be thankful for, she wrote it down. Then she began to see how God was in everything around her, even the chaos and the things that seemed horrible. And she was able to be thankful for them. Hence their name, 'ugly beautiful', because sometimes being thankful is hard. It requires being thankful for something that is ugly because it is in God's plan for your life. And since we know that He only has good plans for us (Jer. 29:11) and He works everything for our good (Rom. 8:28), we should live in a constant state of thankfulness regardless of our circumstances.
Whew, talk about easier said than done! I was skeptical.
But I started a list. I am currently on #143. And once I reach 1000, I hope to keep going because as she wrote in her book, it changed her state of mind and state of being. She was happier, even in the difficult times. And who doesn't want that?
Mine own first 'ugly beautiful' moment happened when Jay had to go to work that Saturday. I wanted to cry, I wanted to be angry.
Instead, I took a big breath and started making a tally:
"I am thankful Jay has a job that supplies for our family "
"I am thankful that because of that, we are able to be generous to others in need"
"I am thankful for the chance to be at home with my boys"
"I am thankful for our home"
And the list went on. It was slow because my ugly was strong and the ugly situation was hard for me. But I slowly started to feel better. Because something about gratitude draws God closer to you. And it makes sense. When my children thank me, it fills my heart and overflows. Could it be the same with God? And as God draws closer to you, the enemy and all his tricks flee.
And you are left with a thankful heart.
I'm not saying it is easy, because it isn't. And I have a feeling that because of this 'ugly beautiful' moment and it's positive results, I will graduate to the next level and my next 'ugly beautiful' will be harder. Because that is how God works, he never leaves us in our state of disarray. He will keep chipping away at my character until He makes it what He wants it to be.
If this is true, then I want to live in this state of gratitude. It is a superior companion than the alternative. I'll probably fail a bunch but that is okay too. My circumstances haven't changed, Jay has still been working really long hours and life is crazy but there are just too many things for me to be thankful for to dwell in the self-pity. Choosing joy instead.
Friday, April 12, 2013
Frankly My Dear, I DO Give A Darn.
Too bad I'm not more like Rhett Butler (and yes, I know that is not the phrase he said completely but this is a kid friendly zone!). That guy didn't really care what anyone thought of him. Oh the freedom of that frame of mind!
I'm not sure where we pick it up. How the change starts or the first decision that leads us down this path. But it happens.
I care what people think about me.
Why? Why does it matter what so and so thinks about my clean (or lack thereof) house, my wardrobe (yes, most of which is yoga pants and vintage t-shirts at this stage in my life) or my child raising abilities. And those categories just hit the tip of the iceburg.
I am often jealous of my hubs, he really doesn't give much of a darn of what anyone thinks of him. When I've expressed words of frustration to him about my mommy-guilt, he never ceases to look at me incredulously and exclaim, "you think about stuff like that?"
In a word, yes.
When did the overpowering voice of the world (even other Christians, most of which are well-meaning) start shouting louder than the voice of God in my life? I have an overwhelming need to explain my short-comings (and perceived short-comings) to anyone who will listen (hence this blog!).
This all being true, one of the lessons I am learning is to say NO. This people pleaser hates this word and has a hard time saying it. I hate disappointing anyone.
However, I have learned in the best interest of my family, that saying no, even to things that are 'good' is okay. This is the phase in my life where I spend most of my time at home as a SAHM and that is ok. It doesn't make me a bad mom, wife, etc. So I am working on doing a few things well and one of them is raising my children (and keeping my sanity). In order to accomplish these few things, some things may have to fall by the wayside. This is just a season of life after all, it doesn't mean I can't do other things in the future.
I may not be Rhett but I can do a better job of showing myself grace when I sacrifice some good things in order to make better decisions for my family, all the while, learning to not give a darn about what people might think of that.
I'm not sure where we pick it up. How the change starts or the first decision that leads us down this path. But it happens.
I care what people think about me.
Why? Why does it matter what so and so thinks about my clean (or lack thereof) house, my wardrobe (yes, most of which is yoga pants and vintage t-shirts at this stage in my life) or my child raising abilities. And those categories just hit the tip of the iceburg.
I am often jealous of my hubs, he really doesn't give much of a darn of what anyone thinks of him. When I've expressed words of frustration to him about my mommy-guilt, he never ceases to look at me incredulously and exclaim, "you think about stuff like that?"
In a word, yes.
When did the overpowering voice of the world (even other Christians, most of which are well-meaning) start shouting louder than the voice of God in my life? I have an overwhelming need to explain my short-comings (and perceived short-comings) to anyone who will listen (hence this blog!).
This all being true, one of the lessons I am learning is to say NO. This people pleaser hates this word and has a hard time saying it. I hate disappointing anyone.
However, I have learned in the best interest of my family, that saying no, even to things that are 'good' is okay. This is the phase in my life where I spend most of my time at home as a SAHM and that is ok. It doesn't make me a bad mom, wife, etc. So I am working on doing a few things well and one of them is raising my children (and keeping my sanity). In order to accomplish these few things, some things may have to fall by the wayside. This is just a season of life after all, it doesn't mean I can't do other things in the future.
I may not be Rhett but I can do a better job of showing myself grace when I sacrifice some good things in order to make better decisions for my family, all the while, learning to not give a darn about what people might think of that.
Friday, March 15, 2013
When You Feel Like Screaming
Let's face it, raising kids is probably the hardest job there is out there.
Especially at that magical age of 2 (and 3, and 4 and.....according to my fellow mamas).
Rhee is poised to turn two next week and I feel like this is his most dramatic age yet. Late night feedings have nothing on the drama of a two year deprived of.....anything. Meltdowns abound and half of the time I have no idea what started them and what I can do to 'fix' them. We have tried all manner of discipline to help mold our young little man.
The other day we had the fit to end all fits. Nothing would calm him. I felt like screaming! Especially at him. I wanted to respond in an unmotherly-like manner (and have, plenty of other times lest you think me holier-than-thou).
The blessing however, was that tiny man Nick was down for a nap and I was able to step back and take a calm approach to his fist beating scream-fest. I scooped him up and held him and just whispered that I loved him and sang to him. Almost immediately, he began to calm down and he just kind of sighed into me. This time, he just needed that reassurance that I loved him. It went of a time of extreme frustration for both us to to a time of love, giggles and cuddles, which if you know Rhee, he is a daddy's boy so it was balm for this mama's heart to connect with him on this level. Quiet and contentment, found in my love for my son.
As I have thought about this situation the past few days, God gave kept reminding me and putting this Scripture in front of me (in so many different ways!):
Zephaniah 3:17
For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty Savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With His love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.
Sometimes I think God gives us children so He can show us just how much He loves us. I have always loved this verse but it took on whole new meaning when I was able to see it played out with my son in real life. How many times have I thrown a fit, beating my fists on the ground with God? And His delight is to take us up in His arms and love on us in our ugliness. Because His love (and grace) knows no bounds and He rejoices over me with singing.
So next time you feel like screaming, take a step back and realize that sometimes God is teaching you as you teach your children.
Especially at that magical age of 2 (and 3, and 4 and.....according to my fellow mamas).
Rhee is poised to turn two next week and I feel like this is his most dramatic age yet. Late night feedings have nothing on the drama of a two year deprived of.....anything. Meltdowns abound and half of the time I have no idea what started them and what I can do to 'fix' them. We have tried all manner of discipline to help mold our young little man.
The other day we had the fit to end all fits. Nothing would calm him. I felt like screaming! Especially at him. I wanted to respond in an unmotherly-like manner (and have, plenty of other times lest you think me holier-than-thou).
The blessing however, was that tiny man Nick was down for a nap and I was able to step back and take a calm approach to his fist beating scream-fest. I scooped him up and held him and just whispered that I loved him and sang to him. Almost immediately, he began to calm down and he just kind of sighed into me. This time, he just needed that reassurance that I loved him. It went of a time of extreme frustration for both us to to a time of love, giggles and cuddles, which if you know Rhee, he is a daddy's boy so it was balm for this mama's heart to connect with him on this level. Quiet and contentment, found in my love for my son.
As I have thought about this situation the past few days, God gave kept reminding me and putting this Scripture in front of me (in so many different ways!):
Zephaniah 3:17
For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty Savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With His love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.
Sometimes I think God gives us children so He can show us just how much He loves us. I have always loved this verse but it took on whole new meaning when I was able to see it played out with my son in real life. How many times have I thrown a fit, beating my fists on the ground with God? And His delight is to take us up in His arms and love on us in our ugliness. Because His love (and grace) knows no bounds and He rejoices over me with singing.
So next time you feel like screaming, take a step back and realize that sometimes God is teaching you as you teach your children.
Thursday, March 7, 2013
We Band of Mamas
Moms. There is just something about them.
This is not at all to discredit daddys or even stay at home daddys, that is another post for another day. Today, we talk about mommies.
I was at the pediatrician's office yesterday. As I sat (as much sitting as you do with an almost 2 year old that is) waiting for our appointment, out walked a couple with a very tiny newborn. As the mama passed me cuddling her little precious one, I smiled at her and we just knew: being a mom is the best thing in the world.
It doesn't matter where I go, with 2 small boys in tow, I meet other moms all the time in all kinds of places. Conversations start that wouldn't start otherwise when the topic is our children. It could be my worst enemy, but if you love on my kids or even just show an interest in them, my view of you will completely change and we will probably now be friends. :)
Too often we spend our time comparing ourselves to other mamas, we either tear ourselves down with what we see or we tear them down. Maybe some of both. How long before I realize and let it really sink in that God chose me to be the mama to these two boys. He is going to give me what I need to raise them and it will not look like what other mamas do/say/behave. And that's ok! In fact, it is more than ok, if God believes that I am good enough to be their mom then I have to stop comparing myself to other mamas to see how I measure up, I have to use the measuring stick of expectations He has given me for each of my boys.
The other half of the time (depending on the mama) we spend tearing down our sisters in mommyhood. They use disposable diapers, they use cloth diapers, they breastfeed, they formula feed, they homeschool, they send their kids to public/private school, they indulge their kids too much, they don't, they work outside the home, they are a SAHM and on and on it goes! It's ugly, it's ungracious and sadly, I have done it. We do it so we can feel superior and better about ourselves. We do it because we think we are right and they are wrong. We do it for a myriad of reasons.
My fellow mommies, this should just not be! The fact is, we have no idea the road God has called that mama and her child to walk. I think about my own mom, I was homeschooled through 6th grade. I'm sure she had people (especially the state government during that time, homeschooling was not popular at all and had many false stereotypes) that thought she was crazy or harming me or any other manner of criticism. Truth is, I was painfully shy and I believe if I had been forced into the school system too early, it may have harmed me. I'm so grateful that my mom went against the mainstream and kept me at home as long as she did.
I was reminded in a devotional today of some important Scripture today as I was thinking about this post.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8a
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
So next time you see a mama who may not do things exactly the way you do, remember to give grace and love them where they are and for what they are! One of my favorite mamas is Dana. She has been my sounding board on more than one occasion as I struggle with mommyhood. She ALWAYS responds to me in love and care and is the epitome of acceptance of me where I am. I admire her for her ability to love me in my ugliness and uncertainty and has the grace to encourage me.
My challenge to you to do is find a mama that may need encouragement and extend those words! May we band together as mamas and love and encourage each other in this tough path of raising our littles.
This is not at all to discredit daddys or even stay at home daddys, that is another post for another day. Today, we talk about mommies.
I was at the pediatrician's office yesterday. As I sat (as much sitting as you do with an almost 2 year old that is) waiting for our appointment, out walked a couple with a very tiny newborn. As the mama passed me cuddling her little precious one, I smiled at her and we just knew: being a mom is the best thing in the world.
It doesn't matter where I go, with 2 small boys in tow, I meet other moms all the time in all kinds of places. Conversations start that wouldn't start otherwise when the topic is our children. It could be my worst enemy, but if you love on my kids or even just show an interest in them, my view of you will completely change and we will probably now be friends. :)
Too often we spend our time comparing ourselves to other mamas, we either tear ourselves down with what we see or we tear them down. Maybe some of both. How long before I realize and let it really sink in that God chose me to be the mama to these two boys. He is going to give me what I need to raise them and it will not look like what other mamas do/say/behave. And that's ok! In fact, it is more than ok, if God believes that I am good enough to be their mom then I have to stop comparing myself to other mamas to see how I measure up, I have to use the measuring stick of expectations He has given me for each of my boys.
The other half of the time (depending on the mama) we spend tearing down our sisters in mommyhood. They use disposable diapers, they use cloth diapers, they breastfeed, they formula feed, they homeschool, they send their kids to public/private school, they indulge their kids too much, they don't, they work outside the home, they are a SAHM and on and on it goes! It's ugly, it's ungracious and sadly, I have done it. We do it so we can feel superior and better about ourselves. We do it because we think we are right and they are wrong. We do it for a myriad of reasons.
My fellow mommies, this should just not be! The fact is, we have no idea the road God has called that mama and her child to walk. I think about my own mom, I was homeschooled through 6th grade. I'm sure she had people (especially the state government during that time, homeschooling was not popular at all and had many false stereotypes) that thought she was crazy or harming me or any other manner of criticism. Truth is, I was painfully shy and I believe if I had been forced into the school system too early, it may have harmed me. I'm so grateful that my mom went against the mainstream and kept me at home as long as she did.
I was reminded in a devotional today of some important Scripture today as I was thinking about this post.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8a
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
So next time you see a mama who may not do things exactly the way you do, remember to give grace and love them where they are and for what they are! One of my favorite mamas is Dana. She has been my sounding board on more than one occasion as I struggle with mommyhood. She ALWAYS responds to me in love and care and is the epitome of acceptance of me where I am. I admire her for her ability to love me in my ugliness and uncertainty and has the grace to encourage me.
My challenge to you to do is find a mama that may need encouragement and extend those words! May we band together as mamas and love and encourage each other in this tough path of raising our littles.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)