Let's face it, raising kids is probably the hardest job there is out there.
Especially at that magical age of 2 (and 3, and 4 and.....according to my fellow mamas).
Rhee is poised to turn two next week and I feel like this is his most dramatic age yet. Late night feedings have nothing on the drama of a two year deprived of.....anything. Meltdowns abound and half of the time I have no idea what started them and what I can do to 'fix' them. We have tried all manner of discipline to help mold our young little man.
The other day we had the fit to end all fits. Nothing would calm him. I felt like screaming! Especially at him. I wanted to respond in an unmotherly-like manner (and have, plenty of other times lest you think me holier-than-thou).
The blessing however, was that tiny man Nick was down for a nap and I was able to step back and take a calm approach to his fist beating scream-fest. I scooped him up and held him and just whispered that I loved him and sang to him. Almost immediately, he began to calm down and he just kind of sighed into me. This time, he just needed that reassurance that I loved him. It went of a time of extreme frustration for both us to to a time of love, giggles and cuddles, which if you know Rhee, he is a daddy's boy so it was balm for this mama's heart to connect with him on this level. Quiet and contentment, found in my love for my son.
As I have thought about this situation the past few days, God gave kept reminding me and putting this Scripture in front of me (in so many different ways!):
Zephaniah 3:17
For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty Savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With His love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.
Sometimes I think God gives us children so He can show us just how much He loves us. I have always loved this verse but it took on whole new meaning when I was able to see it played out with my son in real life. How many times have I thrown a fit, beating my fists on the ground with God? And His delight is to take us up in His arms and love on us in our ugliness. Because His love (and grace) knows no bounds and He rejoices over me with singing.
So next time you feel like screaming, take a step back and realize that sometimes God is teaching you as you teach your children.
Friday, March 15, 2013
Thursday, March 7, 2013
We Band of Mamas
Moms. There is just something about them.
This is not at all to discredit daddys or even stay at home daddys, that is another post for another day. Today, we talk about mommies.
I was at the pediatrician's office yesterday. As I sat (as much sitting as you do with an almost 2 year old that is) waiting for our appointment, out walked a couple with a very tiny newborn. As the mama passed me cuddling her little precious one, I smiled at her and we just knew: being a mom is the best thing in the world.
It doesn't matter where I go, with 2 small boys in tow, I meet other moms all the time in all kinds of places. Conversations start that wouldn't start otherwise when the topic is our children. It could be my worst enemy, but if you love on my kids or even just show an interest in them, my view of you will completely change and we will probably now be friends. :)
Too often we spend our time comparing ourselves to other mamas, we either tear ourselves down with what we see or we tear them down. Maybe some of both. How long before I realize and let it really sink in that God chose me to be the mama to these two boys. He is going to give me what I need to raise them and it will not look like what other mamas do/say/behave. And that's ok! In fact, it is more than ok, if God believes that I am good enough to be their mom then I have to stop comparing myself to other mamas to see how I measure up, I have to use the measuring stick of expectations He has given me for each of my boys.
The other half of the time (depending on the mama) we spend tearing down our sisters in mommyhood. They use disposable diapers, they use cloth diapers, they breastfeed, they formula feed, they homeschool, they send their kids to public/private school, they indulge their kids too much, they don't, they work outside the home, they are a SAHM and on and on it goes! It's ugly, it's ungracious and sadly, I have done it. We do it so we can feel superior and better about ourselves. We do it because we think we are right and they are wrong. We do it for a myriad of reasons.
My fellow mommies, this should just not be! The fact is, we have no idea the road God has called that mama and her child to walk. I think about my own mom, I was homeschooled through 6th grade. I'm sure she had people (especially the state government during that time, homeschooling was not popular at all and had many false stereotypes) that thought she was crazy or harming me or any other manner of criticism. Truth is, I was painfully shy and I believe if I had been forced into the school system too early, it may have harmed me. I'm so grateful that my mom went against the mainstream and kept me at home as long as she did.
I was reminded in a devotional today of some important Scripture today as I was thinking about this post.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8a
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
So next time you see a mama who may not do things exactly the way you do, remember to give grace and love them where they are and for what they are! One of my favorite mamas is Dana. She has been my sounding board on more than one occasion as I struggle with mommyhood. She ALWAYS responds to me in love and care and is the epitome of acceptance of me where I am. I admire her for her ability to love me in my ugliness and uncertainty and has the grace to encourage me.
My challenge to you to do is find a mama that may need encouragement and extend those words! May we band together as mamas and love and encourage each other in this tough path of raising our littles.
This is not at all to discredit daddys or even stay at home daddys, that is another post for another day. Today, we talk about mommies.
I was at the pediatrician's office yesterday. As I sat (as much sitting as you do with an almost 2 year old that is) waiting for our appointment, out walked a couple with a very tiny newborn. As the mama passed me cuddling her little precious one, I smiled at her and we just knew: being a mom is the best thing in the world.
It doesn't matter where I go, with 2 small boys in tow, I meet other moms all the time in all kinds of places. Conversations start that wouldn't start otherwise when the topic is our children. It could be my worst enemy, but if you love on my kids or even just show an interest in them, my view of you will completely change and we will probably now be friends. :)
Too often we spend our time comparing ourselves to other mamas, we either tear ourselves down with what we see or we tear them down. Maybe some of both. How long before I realize and let it really sink in that God chose me to be the mama to these two boys. He is going to give me what I need to raise them and it will not look like what other mamas do/say/behave. And that's ok! In fact, it is more than ok, if God believes that I am good enough to be their mom then I have to stop comparing myself to other mamas to see how I measure up, I have to use the measuring stick of expectations He has given me for each of my boys.
The other half of the time (depending on the mama) we spend tearing down our sisters in mommyhood. They use disposable diapers, they use cloth diapers, they breastfeed, they formula feed, they homeschool, they send their kids to public/private school, they indulge their kids too much, they don't, they work outside the home, they are a SAHM and on and on it goes! It's ugly, it's ungracious and sadly, I have done it. We do it so we can feel superior and better about ourselves. We do it because we think we are right and they are wrong. We do it for a myriad of reasons.
My fellow mommies, this should just not be! The fact is, we have no idea the road God has called that mama and her child to walk. I think about my own mom, I was homeschooled through 6th grade. I'm sure she had people (especially the state government during that time, homeschooling was not popular at all and had many false stereotypes) that thought she was crazy or harming me or any other manner of criticism. Truth is, I was painfully shy and I believe if I had been forced into the school system too early, it may have harmed me. I'm so grateful that my mom went against the mainstream and kept me at home as long as she did.
I was reminded in a devotional today of some important Scripture today as I was thinking about this post.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8a
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
So next time you see a mama who may not do things exactly the way you do, remember to give grace and love them where they are and for what they are! One of my favorite mamas is Dana. She has been my sounding board on more than one occasion as I struggle with mommyhood. She ALWAYS responds to me in love and care and is the epitome of acceptance of me where I am. I admire her for her ability to love me in my ugliness and uncertainty and has the grace to encourage me.
My challenge to you to do is find a mama that may need encouragement and extend those words! May we band together as mamas and love and encourage each other in this tough path of raising our littles.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)