Organized Chaos

I really hate these words.

Okay, I love the word organize and all its derivatives, but chaos? Not so much. It goes against everything I am trying to accomplish.

I remember when I had just had Rhee and thought, hey this is not so bad! I can do this mom thing. Then he started to grow up and make all kinds of messes. Then we added Nick to the mess. Words cannot express what the simultaneous crying of two little sons will do to this mama who loves order. Sometimes it is so overwhelming I have a hard time trying to decide how to solve the equation.

I do things now that I never thought I would do. For instance, Rhee is getting his 2 year molars so things are kinda out of sequence in our home. He is not sleeping and is really cranky. My to do list gets put to the wayside. I am still in my pjs this afternoon and they have spaghetti sauce on them (from lunch that we did not eat at the table or in a highchair), my shirt has some milk on it (from the bottle he is no longer supposed to have but I can't stand the crying fits to take it away) and I really want to shower and brush my teeth.

I can see the path to ultimate organization but getting there is a different story. Good thing is, everything still gets done, it's just definitely not in my time frame. I sense a lesson I am here to learn from my kiddos, to sit back and enjoy them!

Chaos grinds against every fiber of who I am. However, I realize as a mom, if I try to control everything all the time, not only am I going to be fiercely unhappy but my kids will grow up in an environment where they are not free to make mistakes.

Relaxing in the organized chaos is one of the toughest things for me to do as a mama but it will be well worth it in the future when my kids look back at our memories instead of me always cleaning and organizing. Hopefully some of my organizational skills will rub off on them too! Everything in moderation!