I hold my breath so many times as a mom, it's a wonder I don't pass out.
I hold my breath
*to see if my oldest will eat the food I make him for lunch or throw it all over my floor
*to see if my newborn will stay asleep when I lay him down for a nap or bedtime
*when I change my oldest's diaper (mostly because I don't want to vomit, anyone else want to potty train him?), waiting for him to kick me in a fit of rage (why would he want to stay in that nasty thing!!??)
* when I hear Rhee stirring at nap time and selfishly hope that he goes back to sleep
*when I go to the store and hope neither of my kids have a nuclear meltdown with a half full shopping cart
*at a playdate, hoping my kid doesn't smack the other kid over a toy possession dispute
*when all is silent and I'm not sure if that is a good or bad thing
Truth is, many days I hold my breath trying to survive. Trying to live up to a set of unrealistic expectations I have set for myself. I often feel like a failure when I don't live up to these random set of rules I have made for myself. At the root of this is fear (and pride).
The past month I have really been reevaluating my daily priorities. I recently read that we should not be raising good kids but rather, functional godly adults. Will my kids and I fail each day? Yes, that's human nature. Are we defined by the road we travel? I believe not but by the grace God bestows on us in our failures.
So it's time breathe and be thankful for each day. We are not promised more than that so don't waste it.
In the big picture it's ok that I had to turn down a lunch date with my hubs because it has been a rough morning and I haven't yet brushed my teeth. I'm gonna stop holding my breath at what MIGHT happen or not and just be thankful for each moment.
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Monday, February 4, 2013
The Curse of the Meatloaf
I'm surprised I'm married, no really. They say that a way to a man's heart is through his stomach. If that were the case, I would be single at this very moment.
I am a pretty bad cook, if not for Pinterest, my family would probably starve or be eating PB sandwiches and chips every meal.
When Jay and I were dating, I wanted to cook for him like a good girlfriend. I couldn't make that much so I opted for my mom's meatloaf recipe. It was the one thing I could make. I carefully put all the ingredients together and popped it in the oven. At dinner time, we sat down over candlelight and full adult conversation (doesn't happen at this stage of life!) ready to eat.
I spit out the first bite I took.
Apparently if you accidentally substitute 2T of garlic powder for 2T of onion powder (Jay and I both hate onions), your meatloaf will taste appalling.
Jay still married me! Ha ha, joke's on him. Since then, every time I have made meatloaf I have messed it up, too much ketchup, too little ketchup, wrong parts oatmeal, too dry or wet, etc. You get the point. Bless his heart, he eats it every time (although this has more to do with the fact that he is super cheap and can't bear to waste anything), including the leftovers.
I think it is time to retire the recipe and let the curse die out. Maybe I'll try again in about 20 years.
Lucky for me I have a hubs who loves me anyway and puts up with my experimenting with new Pinterest recipes. Someday maybe I'll be a 'good' cook, until then we get to live in fear of what may come out of my oven or crockpot.
I am a pretty bad cook, if not for Pinterest, my family would probably starve or be eating PB sandwiches and chips every meal.
When Jay and I were dating, I wanted to cook for him like a good girlfriend. I couldn't make that much so I opted for my mom's meatloaf recipe. It was the one thing I could make. I carefully put all the ingredients together and popped it in the oven. At dinner time, we sat down over candlelight and full adult conversation (doesn't happen at this stage of life!) ready to eat.
I spit out the first bite I took.
Apparently if you accidentally substitute 2T of garlic powder for 2T of onion powder (Jay and I both hate onions), your meatloaf will taste appalling.
Jay still married me! Ha ha, joke's on him. Since then, every time I have made meatloaf I have messed it up, too much ketchup, too little ketchup, wrong parts oatmeal, too dry or wet, etc. You get the point. Bless his heart, he eats it every time (although this has more to do with the fact that he is super cheap and can't bear to waste anything), including the leftovers.
I think it is time to retire the recipe and let the curse die out. Maybe I'll try again in about 20 years.
Lucky for me I have a hubs who loves me anyway and puts up with my experimenting with new Pinterest recipes. Someday maybe I'll be a 'good' cook, until then we get to live in fear of what may come out of my oven or crockpot.
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Nose Carrots, Dirty Diapers and Other Last Laughs
Your kids will always win.
Okay, mine will. I'm conceding defeat. Even if I raise them to be the boys I want them to be, they will still win.
Case in point. I foolishly made fun of Rhee for being able to trick him into eating healthy food today. Usually I can get him to eat whatever we are eating because he has a paranoia of being left out. Because I value some sane time in my day, usually let him watch Disney Junior while eating breakfast and lunch (we do eat dinner as a family at the dining room table so hopefully I haven't ruined him completely). This can either add to my sanity or completely wipe it out, it's a gamble I'm willing to take. So back to the taunting of my son.
Today was a robust lunch of frozen pizza and sugar snap peas & carrots. I think a nearly two year old could completely subsist on pizza but am not willing to put in the research to support it. Because of this, the peas & carrots. I'm hoping it balances it out somehow. Directly after publicly laughing at him on Facebook for my trickery, I hear a maniacal laugh come from his highchair (which is facing away from me).
As I turn to look, he is stretching his neck to peer around the back of the chair to find me. I immediately notice there is something amiss with his face. One nostril is abnormally large. As I run in for a closer inspection, I realized he has stuffed a carrot up his nose. I am also assaulted by a horrible stench, he has pooped his pants while eating (read: mama is also trying to eat). Guess I'll be losing that baby weight faster than I anticipated.
Well played sir.
You win. You always do.
Okay, mine will. I'm conceding defeat. Even if I raise them to be the boys I want them to be, they will still win.
Case in point. I foolishly made fun of Rhee for being able to trick him into eating healthy food today. Usually I can get him to eat whatever we are eating because he has a paranoia of being left out. Because I value some sane time in my day, usually let him watch Disney Junior while eating breakfast and lunch (we do eat dinner as a family at the dining room table so hopefully I haven't ruined him completely). This can either add to my sanity or completely wipe it out, it's a gamble I'm willing to take. So back to the taunting of my son.
Today was a robust lunch of frozen pizza and sugar snap peas & carrots. I think a nearly two year old could completely subsist on pizza but am not willing to put in the research to support it. Because of this, the peas & carrots. I'm hoping it balances it out somehow. Directly after publicly laughing at him on Facebook for my trickery, I hear a maniacal laugh come from his highchair (which is facing away from me).
As I turn to look, he is stretching his neck to peer around the back of the chair to find me. I immediately notice there is something amiss with his face. One nostril is abnormally large. As I run in for a closer inspection, I realized he has stuffed a carrot up his nose. I am also assaulted by a horrible stench, he has pooped his pants while eating (read: mama is also trying to eat). Guess I'll be losing that baby weight faster than I anticipated.
Well played sir.
You win. You always do.
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Zombie Showers
No, I'm not talking about flesh eating walking dead. I'm talking about mommies who just want some sleep and a shower that isn't interrupted by screaming or in my case, my oldest throwing books or picture frames in the shower with me. True story.
I can't be the only mom who gets up early (I hate mornings) so I can get a shower in before Rhee's 2pm nap every day. Some days it works and some days it doesn't. Sitting around dirty in my pjs until the afternoon is not how I pictured domestic life (let's not get into the fairy tale I thought it would be!) but it is my reality.
This is after being up multiple times in a night with a newborn who I think takes secret delight in waking me just to put his paci back in his mouth. I have often thought I heard gleeful laughing after he purposely spits it out for the 256th time in one night.
I digress.
All of this leads to the shower where I am frantically trying to shave my legs (yes, I shave my legs every day, I can't stand it otherwise. I may not do my hair or make up but darn it, my legs will be smooth!) with my eyes half shut from lack of sleep. There is no coherent thought going on at this point, it's just a sleepy race against the clock of two little boys waking up.
Sigh.
But then, God has been good to me this morning. I have showered and have a coffee in hand while blogging without being interrupted.
It's going to be a good day in mommyland.
I can't be the only mom who gets up early (I hate mornings) so I can get a shower in before Rhee's 2pm nap every day. Some days it works and some days it doesn't. Sitting around dirty in my pjs until the afternoon is not how I pictured domestic life (let's not get into the fairy tale I thought it would be!) but it is my reality.
This is after being up multiple times in a night with a newborn who I think takes secret delight in waking me just to put his paci back in his mouth. I have often thought I heard gleeful laughing after he purposely spits it out for the 256th time in one night.
I digress.
All of this leads to the shower where I am frantically trying to shave my legs (yes, I shave my legs every day, I can't stand it otherwise. I may not do my hair or make up but darn it, my legs will be smooth!) with my eyes half shut from lack of sleep. There is no coherent thought going on at this point, it's just a sleepy race against the clock of two little boys waking up.
Sigh.
But then, God has been good to me this morning. I have showered and have a coffee in hand while blogging without being interrupted.
It's going to be a good day in mommyland.
Monday, January 28, 2013
I Suck at Blogging and Being a Perfect Mother
Not necessarily in that order.
Question is: what do I write about in this over-blogged (yes, I like to make up words) world?
Yes, I'm a perfectionist but this is not the only thing that defines me, it affects my life but it is not who I am. I am things like a daughter, a wife, a mother, a Christian. These things define me more than anything else. Does perfectionism play into any of these? You betcha.
I had my second son, Nicholas on 12/12/12 (best birth date ever!) and Henry (Rhee) is now 22 months. This by far has been the most challenging to me and wanting things just so. My two little boys who don't give a rip about order or how I would like things done.
Schedules out the window, floors always dirty, poop and spit up a regular part of my day, toys everywhere, sleep: not present.
I have talked to a lot of mommies lately to find out what is normal, to gain some kind of perspective. And you know what I've found? We only post the good milestones on Facebook. The wonderful nights of sleep (p.s. I don't believe these really exist, hey, I'm not calling anyone liar here, maybe just some wishful thinking going on), the poops on the potty, my child is reading at 2, etc. Does anyone else feel like they are failing at motherhood when they look at these in jealousy? Most days I'm just trying to survive by giving my boys anything that will keep them from crying at the same time.
I'm not saying you have to be all negative Nancy from now on, I love hearing about all the good things that go on in my friend's lives, especially with their kids. And I love counting both of our blessings. I just want to take some time to blog occasionally to expose my real day to day life with my boys as a SAHM in a positive and hopefully humorous way.
Like during the time it has taken me to write this, I have had to walk away from it approximately 234 times to get something for the boys and Rhee has thrown pizza sauce from the calzones I made for lunch into every possible crevice of his highchair.
Hopefully you can find some encouragement (me too) in knowing that you are not the only one going through the daily struggles (and joys!) of being a SAHM or a working mom juggling professional and home life. I do not claim to be a writer or always grammatically correct and I overuse parenthesis and exclamation points (deal with it!), just a mom trying to survive and even thrive in this environment.
More to come later when I am not trying to type with one hand while also nursing my infant. What are your biggest challenges as a mama?
Question is: what do I write about in this over-blogged (yes, I like to make up words) world?
Yes, I'm a perfectionist but this is not the only thing that defines me, it affects my life but it is not who I am. I am things like a daughter, a wife, a mother, a Christian. These things define me more than anything else. Does perfectionism play into any of these? You betcha.
I had my second son, Nicholas on 12/12/12 (best birth date ever!) and Henry (Rhee) is now 22 months. This by far has been the most challenging to me and wanting things just so. My two little boys who don't give a rip about order or how I would like things done.
Schedules out the window, floors always dirty, poop and spit up a regular part of my day, toys everywhere, sleep: not present.
I have talked to a lot of mommies lately to find out what is normal, to gain some kind of perspective. And you know what I've found? We only post the good milestones on Facebook. The wonderful nights of sleep (p.s. I don't believe these really exist, hey, I'm not calling anyone liar here, maybe just some wishful thinking going on), the poops on the potty, my child is reading at 2, etc. Does anyone else feel like they are failing at motherhood when they look at these in jealousy? Most days I'm just trying to survive by giving my boys anything that will keep them from crying at the same time.
I'm not saying you have to be all negative Nancy from now on, I love hearing about all the good things that go on in my friend's lives, especially with their kids. And I love counting both of our blessings. I just want to take some time to blog occasionally to expose my real day to day life with my boys as a SAHM in a positive and hopefully humorous way.
Like during the time it has taken me to write this, I have had to walk away from it approximately 234 times to get something for the boys and Rhee has thrown pizza sauce from the calzones I made for lunch into every possible crevice of his highchair.
Hopefully you can find some encouragement (me too) in knowing that you are not the only one going through the daily struggles (and joys!) of being a SAHM or a working mom juggling professional and home life. I do not claim to be a writer or always grammatically correct and I overuse parenthesis and exclamation points (deal with it!), just a mom trying to survive and even thrive in this environment.
More to come later when I am not trying to type with one hand while also nursing my infant. What are your biggest challenges as a mama?
Sunday, March 25, 2012
6FIT Eve
Twas the Night before 6FIT (a poem for 6FITTERs!)
Twas the night before 6FIT, when all through the studio DanceFIT,
Not a dancer was more excited, than those in 6FIT.
The healthy food was picked and all placed in the kitchen with care,
In the hopes of a healthy lifestyle change in 6 weeks fair.
The dancers were nestled, all snuggled in their beds,
While visions of natural energy danced in their heads.
And Gina in her webcam and I in my workout clothes, do sit,
Had just settled in for a virtual class of CardioFIT.
Now BalletFIT, now Legs Bums & Tums, now Arms & Abs!
On Mountain Climbers, On High Knees, on on Plank Jacks!
To healthy living, to weight loss!
Now dash to health, dash to health 6 days a week!
Gina sprang to her studio, both virtual and Brookline,
And away all the dancers all flew like feathers fine.
But I heard Gina exclaim, over classes no need to fight,
Happy 6FIT to all, and to all a good workout night!
Happy 6FIT Eve every one!!! :)
Leta
Twas the night before 6FIT, when all through the studio DanceFIT,
Not a dancer was more excited, than those in 6FIT.
The healthy food was picked and all placed in the kitchen with care,
In the hopes of a healthy lifestyle change in 6 weeks fair.
The dancers were nestled, all snuggled in their beds,
While visions of natural energy danced in their heads.
And Gina in her webcam and I in my workout clothes, do sit,
Had just settled in for a virtual class of CardioFIT.
Now BalletFIT, now Legs Bums & Tums, now Arms & Abs!
On Mountain Climbers, On High Knees, on on Plank Jacks!
To healthy living, to weight loss!
Now dash to health, dash to health 6 days a week!
Gina sprang to her studio, both virtual and Brookline,
And away all the dancers all flew like feathers fine.
But I heard Gina exclaim, over classes no need to fight,
Happy 6FIT to all, and to all a good workout night!
Happy 6FIT Eve every one!!! :)
Leta
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Missing
Okay, I'm just going to continue in my 'too honest' vein of my past blog posts.
I both miss and feel some relief that the last two weeks have been 6FIT free. I feel relief in that the last two weeks have seen some pretty bad eating habits, I'm so glad I do not have to log what I ate for all to see. I have been working out 2 to 3 times a week, not the 6 days a week of 6FIT, but better than nothing!
I am missing talking on a daily basis with our team, emails aren't the same (but much appreciated nonetheless)!
The next 6FIT begins on 3/26 and I can't wait. This go around, it would be fabulous to have a team of Virginia remote/virtual participants!
If you never work out (like me before the last 6FIT), workout when you can, or if you are a workout fiend, this program is for you. The beauty of it is that everyone can do it. If you already have good habits, you can encourage those around you and challenge yourself in news ways. If you need lots of help (like me), it gives you the accountability so you can succeed.
It is not a diet, it is a lifestyle change. It helps you create good habits.
Anyway, I hope many of you will join me on this journey, it is 6 weeks, 3/26/12 to 5/7/12. If you are in Virginia, please contact me and let me know so we can get our Virginia team up and running! I just need 3 more people!
Happy weekend!
I both miss and feel some relief that the last two weeks have been 6FIT free. I feel relief in that the last two weeks have seen some pretty bad eating habits, I'm so glad I do not have to log what I ate for all to see. I have been working out 2 to 3 times a week, not the 6 days a week of 6FIT, but better than nothing!
I am missing talking on a daily basis with our team, emails aren't the same (but much appreciated nonetheless)!
The next 6FIT begins on 3/26 and I can't wait. This go around, it would be fabulous to have a team of Virginia remote/virtual participants!
If you never work out (like me before the last 6FIT), workout when you can, or if you are a workout fiend, this program is for you. The beauty of it is that everyone can do it. If you already have good habits, you can encourage those around you and challenge yourself in news ways. If you need lots of help (like me), it gives you the accountability so you can succeed.
It is not a diet, it is a lifestyle change. It helps you create good habits.
Anyway, I hope many of you will join me on this journey, it is 6 weeks, 3/26/12 to 5/7/12. If you are in Virginia, please contact me and let me know so we can get our Virginia team up and running! I just need 3 more people!
Happy weekend!
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